7 Things I Wish the Aristocrat Did Better

Posted: Thu, Sep 15, 2005

Dear Aristocrat,

I've been procrastinating writing this particular review because of my ambivalence about you. I really love you. I visit you at least once a week. I love your beautiful garden out front. I love the coziness of the big booths and dark wood walls. I love the cheerful outdoor seating. I love the separate pubby-feeling bar area. I love the live music on weekends. I love the black bean burger and the strawberry blues salad. I love that you're mere blocks from my house. I love your permanence, as if you've been there a hundred years and will be there a hundred years more.

Unfortunately, there are also some things I wish you would improve, and this is why I've been procrastinating. I don't want to give you a bad review. So instead, I'm giving you a list of "Needs Improvement." I hope it's constructive.

1. Work on that breakfast thing. If you're going to serve breakfast, please open before 11 on Saturday. That's just too late. Your frittatas and eggs benedict are delicious, but overpriced. $9.19 for a frittata?? This is not outrageous if the meal is perfect, but your English muffin was cool and rubbery and your fruit salad was out of a can. Your prices are up there with Patachou, but it's just not as good. You need to go cheaper OR better. Pick one.

2. Redo the menus. Again. I hate your new menus that show shiny photos of food in a glossy spiral binding. Am I at Applebee's? Please bring back something less corporate.

3. Overhaul the pastas. Some are quite good, but you need to shake it up a little bit. I'd love to see higher quality pasta, less cooking time (the noodles are always a bit on the saggy side) and some lighter, brighter sauces. Please work on that pesto sauce in particular -- it's like glue.

4. Have more specials. It would be great to see some creativity in the kitchen.

5. Offer seasonal fare. I'd love a fresh tomato salad in the summer or a root vegetable stew in the winter.

5. The devil's in the details. The potatoes are a little gummy. The pork chops are a little dry. The vegetable side a little sodden. It would be great to see an overall improvement in prep and ingredients.

6. Do more special events. You had a beer tasting a while back, which was a cool idea. How about more fun things like that? I'd be all over some wine tastings, or even a class taught by a local wine expert.

7. Coffee. Sorry, it's just not good. Can you please change vendors?

Thanks for listening, and see you soon.

Warm Regards,
Jen

Comments

1. Sep 16, 05 10:41 AM | Steve said:

I like the pesto, personally. I just wish they could eliminate carjackings from the front of their establishment that result in my block being "locked down" all afternoon!

2. Sep 16, 05 11:26 AM | Rachel Wolfe said:

Excellent non-review, Jen. I go to the Aristocrat often, too, and consider it to be the "best of the average" -- meaning, not a high-class or haute cuisine place, but my favorite of the chainy, pub foody, burger/sandwichy places. For reference, I consider the "worst of the average" to be Applebee's, which I prefer to call Crapplebee's.

I have long wished that The Aristocrat would take the initiative to get themselves out of the "average" class. They're not a chain*, but they feel like one. I know I can get some good food there, but I don't think anything I've ever tried rises to the level of "great," even the things I like very much (the HUGE tenderloins!).

The Aristocrat is solid enough to be the place we fall back on, if we are too tired or unadventurous to try somewhere else/new. But I wish they'd improve enough to be our first choice, once in a while.

[*They're not a chain, technically, but they're part of a group of restaurants including Union Jack and a few others around town.]

3. Sep 16, 05 08:26 PM | j c klee said:

I've lived within walking distance of the Aristocrat for the past 12 years. It's a nice place.

Often our attachment to these places has to do more with all the experiences we accumulate in them than with the food. If you've come to visit me in Indianapolis then you've probably been to the A'cat (I just made that up).

I remember once when my parents came to visit me in 1994 and we went there. When the server took our order she asked my Dad what side he wanted with his turkey club.

My Dad always suspicious that people we trying to rip him off because of his thick German accent despite having been in the USA since 1954 said he did not want a side order.

My Mom quickly retorted, “Harry, it comes with the sandwich!” I remember staring glumly at my plate as my Dad relented and requested seasoned potato chips with his Turkey Club.

The incident registered such an impression on my Mom she felt compelled to write me about it a week later.

My father has been gone for over 5 years now but whenever I set foot in that place I think of that story.

4. Oct 3, 05 12:19 PM | Jennifer Bortel said:

One correction and one revelation:

Correction: The Aristocrat does offer specials -- they have a specials menu on Sundays and Mondays.

Revelation: They hype their basil/garlic mashed potatoes, serving them with many different entrees. But the potatoes are *instant*, for pity's sake. They didn't used to be. It smells like they called in a "Restaurant Consultant" (or a new manager, who's full of bad advice) who advised them to redo their menus, increase their prices, and cut back on expenses (apparently, real potatoes didn't make the cut). Instant???? C'mon, guys. At least give us the real spuds.

5. Feb 22, 06 11:27 AM | Sarah G. said:

I used to work at the Aristocrat; the chef there makes excellent specials, unfortunately, the owner/manager/powers that be won't approve changes to the menu. It will always be there; they'll probably never really change.

6. Jun 25, 06 11:41 AM | Jennifer Mitchell said:

Robert and I are going to try this tonight. I would like to add another item to the wish list (and we haven't even been seated yet). They have no website! How is that possible in 2006? I did express my concern when calling them to inquire about hours and reservations. They said that someone was working on that but had since stopped. So, for all you techy people...here is an opportunity to freelance. My only plea is: Please make them a sight that has pictures of the meals and prices.

7. Aug 8, 06 03:07 PM | erin said:

I also used to work at the Aristocrat and all of these complaints are valid, as much as you want to love it. I completely agree. In terms of a food that's not so chainy and boring, the Turkey Cranberry Burger is fabulous. It sounds gross, but sometimes out of the blue I just crave it so badly that I have to go get one.

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7 Things I Wish the Aristocrat Did Better

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